I know what you must be thinking. This guy likes German vehicles. First a BMW motorcycle, now he’s talking about a Mercedes SUV. Well truth be told they are both about as backwards as you can get. I actually do like the BMW. I’m still deciding on the Mercedes.
As you may have guessed from the title of this blog my faith in Mercedes-Benz, remember to use a German accent, is an up and down road. Sure its nice to have a fully loaded “luxury” SUV with all the bells and wistles. Yes I did hold out and spend more for the super amazing “Off Road Package”. Yes it has a two speed gear box and center/rear locking differentials. Of Course it raises almost 4″ at the toggle of a dial. Why wouldn’t I have put Goodyear Wrangler tires with Kevlar sidewalls. Absolutely I took it to Tehuya and drove it through the off road park, three times. Sure I’ve driven it places I shouldn’t and almost been stuck there forever. That’s the whole reason I bought it.
Now, you might be wonder where the downside is. What all the fuss is about. Why defame such a prestigious emblem of noble luxurious vehicles. Well if you’ve owned a Mercedes in the last 15 years and kept it passed warranty you wouldn’t need an explanation. But since everyone is already here reading, I’ll continue. And by everyone I mean my wife amd my Mom. Hi Mom!
To get back on track, Mercedes parts are expensive. And they break. They break alot actually. Plus they make some parts that talk to other parts and need special programming so they can talk. Only Mercedes can do that of course. Not to mention their service techs are “highly trained”. I put that in quotes so I could justify charging you more labor than it cost to dig the minerals from the earth and refine them into the part you needed. As if that wasn’t bad enough, they took parts that never break, like the rear hatch latch (say that ten times fast), and reengineer it so that it does break. You are welcome! Didn’t even know you need that part broken did you? Don’t worry, Mercedes has your back. It’s only $500 for the latch anyway, and we’ll put it in for $1500.
Why, do you ask, would I ever buy such a huge money pit? The short answer is I’m probably just an idiot. The long answer is long and my wife has made it very clear that she didn’t want to hear it, so why would you. My first choice was a 2004 Land Rover Discovery II because they are an iconic blend of luxury and rugged utility. Then I discovered all the engines were junk off the assembly line and blow up. All the engines. At least the rear latch always works.
Now comes the time when you sit up in your chair and you listen to old Rooter. I speak with the voice of almighty experience. If you find yourself wanting a luxury vehicle at some point in your life you better have deep pockets, or a big tool chest. I do all my own work, including service and major repairs. I knew I was going to be buying fancy oils and replacing $10 parts that for some reason cost $150. If you know what you are getting into its not so bad. If you have neither money nor skill get a Honda.
UPDATE July 2021: the last 9 month have seen the GL in its death throes. She broke down in the middle of the night all those months ago and after spending time and money still runs like rubbish and smokes like an old chimney. What happens when you have a turd with a V8 that no longer has a V8? You end up with a drive way turd. We had a great time with the GL but unfortunately at about 171,000 miles she’s ready for the scrap yard. I’ll echo my usual sentiment. Buy a Honda.
UPDATE November 2021: Would the internet believe I got 2,000 more miles out of the turd before it stranded my wife again in the same area? I’m not sure how to say “bad joke” in German but no one in my house is laughing. Except my wife, because she won at sorry last night. Keep buying Hondas.